How do I…or should I end it?

How Do I…or Should I End It?

Question by .: How do I…or should I end it?
My wife and I are separated, and have been separated longer than we have ever lived together. My wife hurts me so much. I know she doesn’t mean to, but she does. I’m not going to make excuses for her, but she can be the sweetest woman in the world, but only in small doses…most of the time she is mean spirited and hurts me.

She has NEVER had a relationship last longer than a year (including her previous marriage), and we only lived together for 7 months before I left. I feel for my wife, but I also have my wants and needs for love, affection, and respect.

Whenever she does something bad it’s like she won’t/can’t apologize because it makes HER feel bad. I’m not making excuses for her…I’m just describing my observations. I know that there is something wrong with her and that something happened in her past that she has yet to deal with & she’s scared of counseling because she does not want to deal with it.

Whenever I get to a point where I’m done & I pick up the phone to actually say it…I feel for her because she seems like she doesn’t what to do to fix things. She doesn’t want to be a single mother, but she doesn’t know how to be a wife. If her problem was drugs or alcohol the solution would simple…”YOu have a problem, go to rehab.” However, my wife’s issue isn’t necessarily apparent. I know she was molested as a child, but I don’t know if her issues are directly related to that or something else…or if she’s just a ROYAL B and needs to spend the rest of her life alone.

I called my wife today to end things, since we’re already living apart & the divorce has been filed but not finalized…all I have to do is call my attorney & have him finalize everything. I wouldn’t have to see her again, because custody has been settled and my relatives do the exchanges because they happen while I’m at work.

Whenever I pick up the phone to end it…I briefly try to get her feelings about the latest situation and comes across so helpless to fix things. She gets angry at me because she feels that she’s trying, but I’m not happy…when that is partially true…she has done so much to me for so long that the small things she does is definitely progress, but she’s dug a hole 6 feet deep that it’s hard to see the inches of improvement.

Best answer:

Answer by priyanka – BOS-NYC
most people in relationships like projects (although its never flattering to be someone’s project) but i think that its really hard to fix what someone else broke.

moving on seems like a good idea in this case. the best way would be to tell her that you dont see a future. you dont have to give her any explanation coz it isnt like she is clueless.

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